today i write again

It’s been a long time since I had written something and I mean literally something. I had wanted to for the longest time however petty excuses got the best of me. I used to love writing about anything under the sun, I even kept a journal before. I would write about my feelings or my observations or just some silly stuffs or sometimes even trivial stuffs. It had always relaxed me when I was down and blue especially during the low points of my life, the pen was my best friend. All the things I can’t discuss with the people around me, I would write and write and write until I let it all out. When I feel like nobody was there for me it was my pen who was the great listener but all that changed when I met my husband.

My husband is my best friend; he knows almost everything about me. He became the substitute of my pen that’s why for a long time I did not feel the need to write. When I am ecstatic and happy he will be the first person I share it with. When I am down, he would be the first person to feel it whether I told him or not. Slowly I drifted away from writing until I don’t feel the need to write anymore. There are times that I missed writing and I longed to write what’s on my heart and head but sometimes I fear that my honesty in papers would not be understood by my partner. I am an emotional writer, I write because I need to and I write because I feel.

Today I decided to write again! Hooray for me. No more excuses. I decided that it’s time for me to write again. Not because I feel low again or because there’s a need for me to revive my old best friend but because my soul craves for it. And the more I ignore that inner voice, then the more that I am oppressing my opportunity for growth because of inhibitions to be out and candid again. Today I decided to write again but this time I know that writing is not only because there’s a need for me to do it to dump my pitiful emotions on paper and later on to the trashcan but because it had always been a passion that’s way been overdue. This time I’ll be mature enough not to be an emotional writer who writes mostly based on emotion and how I feel this day but I vow to explore other things that would help me enrich my soul. Kudos to me and good luck but aside from luck may I have the will to continue but most of all may I find the joy in writing again.